My Top 10 Things Broken in my Life

“It heals stronger at the break”, is my short version of what Ernest Hemingway wrote in his novel in 1929,  “A Farewell to Arms.”

For me, this reference is much more than the literal meaning. Its an inspiration to take action. The wise Yoda said, “Do or do not...there is no try.” So now, before it is finally too late, I must do more than TRY. I must embrace and acknowledge the horrible ADHD roadblocks anchored in my life and I must annihilate them... NUKE them...one by one...Once and for all!

In order to accomplish this, let me begin by giving you my TOP TEN list of “what’s broken” in my life. For all you ADHDers out there, maybe some of these will resonate with your own experiences. Send me a comment or a tweet and let me know. Join me in the battle toward ”healing stronger.”

10. Being irresponsible and allowed myself to let a person create a situation for me that I did not desire, that left me trying to cope with it for 20 years and failing. I further allowed this to lead to a life of negativity and pessimism.

9.  Being stupid enough to have a second situation like this happen with someone else, 11 years later, that left me unable to cope at all. This made me let my whole world, (what was left) collapse. 

8.  By not recognizing and fighting my ADHD sooner, I ended up bouncing from job to job, never settling into a career.

7. I compromised my career path by taking “lowering my bar” jobs to cover my responsibilities only. I lived basically to “cover my nut” as I was so fond of saying. I bought-in to this. I underachieved my potential.

6.  Not managing myself and as a result, venting and expressing anger and depression to the good people in my life, and not standing up for myself with the people I needed to stand up to. 

5.  Drinking alcohol in a way that was not beneficial for me. I am not an alcoholic, but the alcohol heightened the state I was already in, i.e. negative and pessimistic (most of the time). I also sneaked alcohol sometimes. This was unusual behavior for me. I was out of control.

4. Feeling obliged, or made to, rather than using my own free will, to make a choice to live a lifestyle similar to my family’s with no success. I felt trapped and a failure because I didn’t deliver what others seemed to pick for me. I was unable to “Man Up” and fight for what I wanted! Where was it when I needed it? Buried in the Moat of Negativity, the Wall of Stupid and the Bog of Despair.

3. Not taking control of myself and driving people who loved me, and were trying to help me, into the ground. Killing a great relationship by letting the Dark Side win.

2. Not finding the desire, the passion, the “Burning in my Belly” to go after what I wanted from life. It felt like each time I got some passion back, a setback  would be waiting. I was more comfortable in my negativity.

DRUM ROLL HERE... And the Number One thing most broken in my life ...right now...in addition to my spirit....

1. By not taking charge of my life, having nothing to show for basically any of my efforts for most of my life, in-spite of talent, intelligence, drive and desire. I allowed this to happen!

So, what do you think? Do any of these roadblocks resonate within you? Do you have a top ten “Broken” list? I would love to hear about yours. Feel free to leave a comment on my blog. Send me an @Tweet. 

I would like to create a community of support right here on this blog. In my next post I would like to share the “D Day” I had, when I confirmed my ADHD diagnosis. You’ll be surprised by the paltry amount of options I had for finding help.